I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
