He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
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