Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
