I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
