I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
