I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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