i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
