Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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