we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
