THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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