You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize