I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You are the jesus of drinking
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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