Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
