What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
