I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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