Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
