He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
