Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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