im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
