i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
