that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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