ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
