Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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