Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
