Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
