Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
