Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize