Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
