Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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