Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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