1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
