I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
