I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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