is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
