she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
