we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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