evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Randomize
