Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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