I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize