K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
