I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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