I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
