No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
