the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
false alarm, still single
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