So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
