Your tits are I can't wait for
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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