I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
