so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
