How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
