that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
