Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
