We won't sleep together?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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