Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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