After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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