for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
