let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
this just has baby written all over it
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
