Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize