I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
