I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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