I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
