Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
wow bdsm is so cute
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
