D3 body, D1 cock
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
His hands were made for my vagina.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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